something new...

so...blogging.

tonight, someone asked me why i'm going to do this and i responded, "i have something to say!" i immediately wondered what exactly that would be! which is typical of me...knowing my truth, but needing time to truly process it...and needing even more time to figure out how to communicate it to someone else.

so, beware, dear reader. i will often not make sense to you...but i will know exactly what i mean! :)

i really questioned if this was a wise endeavor. if i write down my thoughts, will i still be able to change my mind? is this another form of being self-absorbed...assuming anyone wants to know what i think about anything anyway? who knows. i'm gonna do it anyway because i'm a 'jump in the deep end and learn how to swim later' kind of person. and, truth be told, i live a very public life and in an effort to pursue authenticity, this is a way of revealing my heart ~ what God's done and is doing in my heart.

so...here's what i have to say today...

"we spend so much time thinking about the future, but all we are promised is right now...THIS moment. and who we are in THIS moment determines who we are tomorrow and the next day...if it comes to us."

this truth came to me via the Holy Bible AND a book called "the will of God as a way of life" (loaned to me by my dear friend rachel). both of these books opened my eyes to the truth of 'now'. this truth coincides with a spiritual discipline i have been trying to practice for several years now ~ the discipline of response. how do i respond in the moment? who is controlling my response? sometimes it is the Holy Spirit...sometimes it is me (sorry to say)...sometimes it is my enemy (grievous). but, i believe there is value in identifying who is in control because that is who is ultimately 'glorified'. my desire to reflect my God in my moments is a constant struggle because, frankly, there is way too much thinking and evaluating involved for my liking. :)

but i will do the work until it becomes second nature...and then...deal with the next thing...